


Cursed

by Sephirotha



Series: Sensation [4]
Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Kidnapping, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10970292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephirotha/pseuds/Sephirotha
Summary: I’ve waited for the chance to have you as my lover.  I’ve had to watch you fawn over someone who never came close to deserving you.  Now that you’re mine I will never let you go.  You will see one day, my darling.  One day you will look up at me with those gorgeous eyes and confess your love to me.  Then we will finally be happy together like we should have been all those years ago.





	Cursed

Kaname cupped Mana’s cheek then felt her forehead.  Her fever was going down and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully.  He glanced at the device strapped around her wrist.  There was a small red light that indicated that it was active.  He ran a hand up her arm until he reached her hand to hold and squeeze.  He smiled before leaning down to kiss her head.  She’ll need to bathe soon but he didn’t want to startle her in case she woke whilst he bathed her.  It felt distressing to see how her hair stuck to her forehead because of the sweat, it painted a picture of sickness, suffering and sadness.  Kaname brushed the damp strands of hair away from her forehead.

_And yet you look so beautiful.  As much as it pains me to see you in such a state, I do wish to see this side of you more.  You look enchanting whilst you’re vulnerable._

It had been a bit of a rush to finally hurry through the front doors of their new home with her safely secured in his arms.  He found peace when the heavy doors slammed shut behind him.  She didn’t look well for the whole journey from when he collected her from Seiren to when he tucked her into their bed.  He had anticipated side-effects from the induced sleep but it still worried him.

Kaname didn’t need to wait too long until her eyes fluttered.  It was brief and nearly missed.  He watched with bated breath as Mana mumbled something incomprehensible and stirred in her slumber.  Her forehead creased in distress and her fingers curled around his.  Her lips parted slightly as if to speak and Kaname squeezed her hand.  She let out a pained groan as she moved a little, her eyes struggling to open fully.  Kaname’s heartbeat elevated as he watched, looking enchanted.  He raised her hand and kissed her knuckles gently, his eyes never leaving her face.  She turned her head towards him, her eyes still fluttering.

“Mana, it’s me.”

Mana stirred again and moved slightly when he spoke.  Kaname watched, his breath quickening as his heart raced, eager to see her eyes, those beautiful eyes…

“Mana, don’t strain yourself,” he murmured “Everything’s OK, ssh…”

He used his other hand to caress her head.

“Relax, just take your time…”

Finally, Mana’s eyes opened and she stared ahead for a moment or two before looking at him and her breath hitched.

“You…”

Kaname smiled and tilted his head.

“Mana…”

Her eyes looked tired, as if she hadn’t been sleeping peacefully.  She moved her head away from his hand but he just followed, making sure he was still caressing her as if he was comforting her.

“Don’t move so much, just let me take care of you.”

“Where…?”

Mana moaned and Kaname hushed her, kissing forehead.

“Zero…!”

“Hush,” Kaname’s voice dropped and Mana winced “No, Mana.  You shouldn’t think of him.”

Mana tried to sit up but winced and held her head, flopping back into the plethora of pillows that caught her.

“Careful, Mana, it’ll take a while to get used to it.”

“Used to…?”

Mana then saw her wrist and tried to pull her hand out of his grip.  He tightened his grip.

“I…” Kaname took in a deep breath “…needed a way to make sure you won’t fight me.  Your emotions are unstable and you might hurt yourself.”

“You…!  You!”

Mana’s eyes glowed as she bared her fangs weakly.

“What did you do…?!”

She coughed and Kaname hushed her.

“You need blood, Mana…”

“As if I’d…!”

Kaname ignored her as he tore open his wrist and drank a few mouthfuls before pressing his lips to hers to force it down her throat.  She gargled in surprise and her body made slight movements in a futile attempt to resist.  Kaname could hear the reluctant gulps, satisfied that she was accepting his blood.  She coughed and choked when he lifted his lips, blood splattering across the grey sheets and he descended again to kiss her.  She pushed her hands against his shoulders but he practically crushed her under him.  She squirmed, making soft noises of protest which only encouraged him further.

He continued kissing her, ignoring all the struggles, all the attempts to shut him out.  She would have probably done a better job if she had her abilities and strength.  He pressed down, feeling the slight movements of her legs against his as he crawled on top of her, pinning her down with his weight.  He felt aggressive, he wanted to act more aggressively but he also knew how weak she was.  He wouldn’t take advantage of her, he won’t.  He won’t break her, he’ll just have her weakened for a while until she accepted him.  He lifted his lips from Mana’s and felt her strike him across the cheek.

It was weak but it still stung.  Feeling her palm aggressively smacking into his face brought forth the pain of reality.  She would never love him like he loved her.

But it suddenly didn’t matter anymore.

_Whether or not you love me, I will always love you.  Fight me all you want but you’re mine now and I’ll make sure you know it._

Kaname looked down at Mana who glowered at him, just like when they were at Cross Academy.  He hardened his look, sick and tired of seeing this side of her and being reminded about her callous and snarky phase.

“I have been so patient,” he said and Mana’s glower disappeared at the tone of his voice “I have worked so hard just to have you by my side.”

Mana flinched as his hands slammed themselves on either side of her head, skewering pillows and sending little feathers flying.

“I had to watch you with _him_ ,” he growled as the anger boiled up in him “I have had to watch as you bore his children, when they should have been mine!”

He was breathing heavily now.

“You could have had twins, Mana,” he whispered “You could have had my daughters because they wouldn’t have been affected by the curse.  Do you even remember how distraught you were because you lost Sachi’s sister?!  He killed your child!”

“Enough!”

“No!”

Mana winced as he shouted, his cool demeanour gone.

“I would have given you everything!” he barked at her “You would have been the most loved queen in history!  Anything you asked for, anything at all, it would have been yours!”

_You would have been the happiest person in the world!  I could have been the one to help your painting career!  It could have been me!  I could have been the reason for your happiness!  It should have been me you married, it should have been me to make you smile like that!  It should have been me!_

“How dare you paint me as such a materialistic person!”

Kaname sharply moved back as Mana glowered at him again.

“I chose Zero because he was honest!  Zero was not only my lover but my best friend!  I could trust him!  Not once did he manipulate me to get his way!”

She shakily propped herself up.

“And he wouldn’t have killed Yuki or you to get me,” she whispered venomously “If it had been the other way around, he would have accepted my choice.”

Tears pricked her eyes.

“I thought I was wrong about you,” she whispered “I thought that maybe, maybe there is some good in him after all.  Yuki is so happy with him so I should try to at least accept him as a brother-in-law.”

Kaname watched as those tears fell down her face.

“And you know what?  It was nice to bond with you on a family level.  I respected you, I trusted you, I loved you.  But to find that it was all lies?  That all you wanted was to own me?”

She turned her head away when he reached out to brush her tears.

“Mana, I am still that person.  Everything that I did was for us.”

_All I ever had in mind was you.  I just wanted you to be happy with me, not him.  I could have killed him a lot earlier…I should have had him killed when he got turned!_

“Was for you.”

Kaname shook his head at Mana’s deadpanned remark.

“No, all I thought was for your happiness, your happiness with me…”

He pressed his forehead against hers.

“I love you.”

“This isn’t love.  It’s obsession.”

Kaname let out a snarl.

“Mana…”

“If I had chosen you, you would have given me anything?”

“Of course!  Just name it, it will be yours…”

“I want my freedom.”

Kaname froze and Mana looked up at him coldly.  A few seconds passed and she turned away.

“See?  If it were truly love, a pure love, you wouldn’t have me here.  Weakened, trapped…scared.”

“No, don’t be afraid, my love…”

“I’m fucking terrified!”

Kaname moved away slightly at Mana’s snap.

“I don’t know you!  I can’t trust you!”

“You can!”

“Then let me go!  If you really are the brother that truly cares then let me be free!”

_Stop, Mana, please.  I can’t let you go, can’t you see?!  You’ll never come back to me…  I’ll never be able to have you again and that thought alone…!_

Kaname swooped down and brought Mana into a crushing hug.

“No,” he whispered “No, don’t leave me.  You don’t need to leave.  We can have everything here.  You’re safe here, I can protect you here.  I can’t let you out there where you’ll be lost…”

Mana didn’t answer as he held her closer.

“Here we can be happy.  We’ll be just hidden here where the world won’t bother us.  Just stay, we don’t need anyone but each other.”

_Stay here where you can be protected.  I won’t be able to protect you from all those who want to have you for themselves.  I can’t stand the idea of you being out there on your own, surrounded by greedy, filthy men._

Even the guests at their hotel had given her a lustful look.  He remembered his blood boiling at every look a man with his mistress, every hormonal teenager and anyone else gave his darling Mana.  He remembered the paranoia of not only Mana being whisked away, but the risk of her exposing the world of vampires should that have happened.  She often did use her blood whip without much thought.  Although happy to see that she could fend for herself, Kaname preferred if she would let him protect her.

“How can you say that?”

Kaname hesitated at her tone.

“What about Ai and Seto?”

_What about them?_

Kaname pulled out of the hug to look down at Mana’s melancholic look.

“Do they mean nothing to you?  Your own flesh and blood?”

“My children with Yuki were for the throne, nothing else,” Kaname said bluntly and Mana gave him a wide-eyed look “Perhaps they are good for something.”

He smiled softly as he cupped Mana’s cheek.

“Our children won’t have to grow up with the pressure or stress,” he sighed “They’ll live without a care in the world here.  We’ll be such good parents…”

“How can you say that?!  How can you brush your children away so easily?!  And what about my children?  My family?”

“What about them, Mana?” Kaname asked and Mana bared her fangs “They’ve all moved on in their lives.  They’re focused on their own futures.  I’m so happy that you’ve raised such wonderful children…”

He leaned forward and kissed her, despite being met with firmly pursed lips.

“It means you’ll be such a wonderful mother to ours.”

_We’ll raise them together and we’ll be so happy.  Our children will be beautiful and they will learn so much from you.  They’ll be bright and perfect, just like you, my darling._

“You expect me to have children in such a state?”

Mana wiped her lips and glowered at him in contempt.

“You’re insane.”

“Perhaps,” Kaname hummed as he idly twirled a lock of hair around his finger “but that doesn’t matter.  Nothing matters here, Mana.  Only us…”

_And even if it is insanity, it would be your fault, my dear Mana.  It’s your fault that you’ve driven me insane, if this is what you would call insane.  But that doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that we’re finally together with no-one to pull us apart.  If this is insanity then let me embrace it because I want nothing more than to have you with me, with no-one else around.  I want us to be together forever._

He kissed her forehead before finally pulling away and slipping off the bed.

“I’ll run us a bath.”

Mana didn’t answer, just rolled away so her back was facing him.  Kaname walked into the bathroom, stepping into the grandiose bath.  He hadn’t pulled any punches when it came to furnishing this arguably small mansion.  He only wanted the best for Mana after all.  He ran the taps, making sure the water temperature was just right and heard a loud thud from the bedroom.  He dashed out to see Mana on wobbly legs and clinging onto one of the bedposts, nearly slipping again from the lack of strength in her legs.  He calmed down slightly and sighed in relief.

“Mana, you don’t need to move so much,” he said and Mana glared at him as she flopped to her knees “You’re still getting used to the blocker.  But it’s fine.  I can carry you.”

“I won’t allow you to treat me as an invalid,” Mana spat as he walked around the bed and scooped her up in his arms.

“Just let me take care of you,” Kaname sighed as she struggled “At least until you’re used to the blocker.  But you’ll still struggle with walking.”

“Just take it off.  It’s demeaning.”

Kaname took her wrist and kissed the black bracelet that encased it.

“I’ve let you walk away from me too many times,” he murmured “I won’t let it happen again.”

He lifted her slightly so he could press a kiss to her lips.

“I’ve done my waiting.”

Mana refused to meet his eyes as he carried her to the bathroom.  He sat her down on the counter where the sinks were and undressed her.  She struggled against him and hunched her body with her knees up to try and cover her nudity.  He ignored this whilst undressing himself.  She simply stared at the doorway to the bedroom, shivering a little from the cold.

_Don’t hide yourself, Mana.  We’ve seen each other naked before so don’t be shy.  You’re beautiful._

She squirmed as he picked her up and settled her down in the bath which was nearly full.  He settled himself behind her after turning the taps off.  He reached over to grab a large clam shell and dipped it into the warm water.  Mana twitched as he poured the water over her head until her hair was suitably damp enough to lather with shampoo.  She stayed still, arms around her knees that were firmly pressed against her chest.  She made slight movements with each time he weaved his fingers through her hair.

Once her hair had been conditioned and rinsed, he parted her hair so he could wash her back.  It felt therapeutic.  This was what he had dreamed of.  Having his precious Mana here and just taking care of her like this.  This was what heaven was.  He wanted to spoil her, pamper her like she was the queen of the world.  He would do anything just to see her warm, sunny smile.

His mind was clear.  It felt peaceful.  This was nice.  Without Mana’s snarky remarks and scornful glower, it was wonderful to be together like this.  Just being together, warm, content and intimate was what kept his mind clear.  Mana was his antidote to his anxieties.

The suds floated on the surface of the water and Mana struggled as he spun her around so she was facing him.  Her legs bent to get into a more comfortable position and she crossed her arms firmly across her chest.  Her eyes were fixed on the doorway to the bedroom and he cupped her cheeks.  She felt so small and delicate like this, just as she should be.  Submissive, obedient and simply perfect.

“Mana.”

He wanted her to look at him.  He wanted to look into her eyes.

“Mana.”

She didn’t respond.  Just kept looking away from him.  She seemed distant, as if trying to block out any and all contact he attempted.  He held her face tighter, she winced and he pressed his forehead to hers.  He took her hands and pulled them up to cup his face.  He sighed contently.

“Mana, please.”

When she still didn’t respond, he pressed his lips to hers.  She slapped him again but he didn’t move, just kept her still as he kissed her firmly sealed mouth.  He pulled away, looking down at her scornful glare.

“I love you.”

“You don’t.”

He wanted to smack her for that response. 

_Why won’t you see?!  I love you!  I’ve done so much for you!  I didn’t want to kill Yuki like that but I had no choice!  If only…if only you loved me from the very beginning!  Then none of this unpleasantness would have happened!_

“I’ll never stop saying it.  I love you.  Only you.”

His thumbs drew little circles on her cheeks.

“My Mana.”

“My jailer.”

She was angering him.

“You’re beautiful.”

“You’re hideous.”

Ha.

“I love you.”

“I hate you.”

_Stop it, Mana.  Stop being like this.  Just accept my love, accept our love._

Mana hissed when his hands went back to lacing themselves through her hair and pulling her head back so he could lean over her.

“You don’t mean that,” he hissed.

“There has never been a time when I’ve been so certain that I hate you.”

“Mana, _please_.”

“Please what, Kuran?”

Kaname froze at her sneer.

“Please be a good little girl?” she said mockingly “Please be the sweet, naïve little sister?  Please be just as easy to manipulate as Yuki?”

“Mana,” his tone came out rather forceful “I’m warning you…”

“Of what?”

Kaname watched as Mana raised an eyebrow.

“Do it, prove me right.  Trap me, beat me…”

“Mana!”

“Rape me.”

“Shut up!”

Kaname saw red as he roared, losing his composure but snapped out of his angry haze at the sound of choking.  He pulled away quickly, taking deep breaths as Mana rubbed her neck, cowering in the furthest corner of the bath.  He dropped his hands, listening to them splash in the water.  His eyes glanced at the marks around her neck and he trembled.

“Don’t do this,” he whispered “I don’t want to hurt you.  I love you.”

_Don’t push me, don’t feed the beast inside me.  I just want to see your smile and hear your laughter.  Not your tears or your cries._

Mana just gave him a bitter look.

“You don’t.”

Kaname looked away, closing his eyes and regaining his composure.

_It would be easier if she just stopped thinking.  Break her mind, you have the power to do so.  Make her forgot how to think, just do what you tell her to do._

_No, that wouldn’t be my Mana.  I can’t do that to her, I won’t!_

“I do,” he murmured under his breath “I love you, I’ve always loved you.”

Mana remained quiet as he sighed and nodded.

“Yes, I love you more than anyone could.”

He turned and smiled to her.

“Come, let’s get you dry.”

Mana allowed him as he picked her up and carried her out of the bath.  He set her down on the counter before grabbing the white towels and began drying her.  She struggled as he wiped her body down and wrung her hair out.  He ignored it, she was too weak to push him away.

Once they were in their dressing gowns with a towel wrapped around Mana’s head, Kaname carried her back into the bedroom.  It was nice to carry her like this.  She was dependent to him and he savoured every aspect of it. 

He sat her down on the stool in front of the vanity and took her hair out of the towel where he gave it another thorough dry before taking out the hairdryer.  She sat still, staring at the white surface before the mirror.  He dried then braided her hair.  She didn’t respond, just sat there obediently and silently.  He kissed the top of her head and smiled at her reflection.

“Beautiful.”

“Pathetic.”

His hands went to her shoulders and squeezed.

“Mana…”

“What?  Are you going to strangle me again?”

His smile dropped as he squeezed her shoulders again.

“I can be patient, Mana,” he said calmly as she glared at his reflection “Spending time with him does make you that little teenager again.”

He brought her back so her head rested against his torso.

“But it’s OK.  You’ll grow out of it again.  And you’ll stay away from her.  You’ll be the elegant, beautiful Mana that I know again.”

“But you’ll never be the brother I once knew.”

Tears pricked the corners of Mana’s eyes.

“I’ll never forgive you,” she said “I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Yuki.  And I’ll never forgive myself for not seeing it.”

“Mana.”

He reached around to brush away her tears.

“That’s all in the past now,” he whispered “We can start afresh.”

“Never.  I’ll never give myself to you.  Do what you wish, you can break me, you can bribe me, you can bargain with me but never will you find requited feelings.”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“Perhaps but that doesn’t matter.”

Mana brushed his hands away from her face.

“What matters is that I am imprisoned by a murderous madman with a lustful obsession over me.”

Kaname saw his reflection flex his hands, wanting to hit her for her words.

_I’m doing this for you, Mana.  I’ve waited for the chance to have you as my lover.  I’ve had to watch you fawn over someone who never came close to deserving you.  Now that you’re mine I will never let you go.  You will see one day, my darling.  One day you will look up at me with those gorgeous eyes and confess your love to me.  Then we will finally be happy together like we should have been all those years ago._

He turned away and began changing the sheets and pillows on the bed.  Mana sat still on the vanity, never moving.  She didn’t move when he went to get more pillows and clean sheets then throw the blood-stained sheets into the laundry.  Once the bed was ready, he walked to the wardrobe and opened it to rifle through the nightgowns and other sleepwear he had purchased for her.  He pulled out a white negligee.  Mana glanced at the reflection of it and just gave a disgusted look.  He ignored it.

_I know your favourite colour is pink, despite how much you deny it.  But white suits you better.  White makes you look beautiful, like a bride should be.  It shows that more delicate and innocent side to you.  And it suits you much better than that rebellious teenager._

Mana struggled as he disrobed her then fitted the negligee on her, smiling slightly in appreciation.

“Gorgeous.”

“Demeaning.”

_Shut her up, make her forget how to speak._

_Patience, patience, she’s just a little tired._

Kaname leaned over to kiss her temple.  She turned away and struggled as he lifted her up and tucked her into the bed.  He then went back to the wardrobe to slip on a pair of black silk pyjama bottoms before joining her. 

She tried to push him away as he wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her against his chest.  He sighed happily.  She felt warm, she felt wonderful.

_She feels perfect, it’s just too perfect.  I’ll never let her go.  I love her so much and she’s finally mine._

_And I’m yours._

Kaname smiled as he rubbed his cheek against her head.

_I’m yours as you are mine.  Love me, use me, just look up at me with those beautiful eyes._

“This feels right,” he whispered to her “Having you with me just feels nice, I feel at peace.”

He looked down at her with sad eyes.

“Please, stop rejecting me.”

Mana refused to look at him, simply turning away from him so her back was to him.  He brought her back against his chest and tucked her head under his chin.

“I have an art room set up for you,” he murmured “And I can cook meals for us so you won’t have to worry about that.  If there’s anything you want, you can ask me.”

Mana didn’t answer and he hugged her tighter.

_It won’t be as good as your cooking but I’ll get better with practice.  You like strawberry mochi and soba noodles, don’t you?  I’m still learning with the mochi but I can make the noodles just fine.  I can’t wait until you can try it._

_And I’ll keep your art room supplied.  Paint, canvases, anything you want I’ll get it for you.  I can’t wait to see you painting and I hope to be the source of your inspiration.  Your landscapes are always so beautiful and maybe you’ll help paint the nursery when it comes to that.  Our children will grow up surrounded by such beautiful visions and perhaps you will teach them how to paint._

“There’s a library too.  We can spend evenings together in front of the fireplace reading books like we used to before.  It’ll be just like the old times when everything was so perfect…”

_We can just read quietly and when you stop with your snide comments, we can talk about the books we read.  I can get you books and books of photographs with landscapes so you can be inspired to paint.  That’s what you’ll want, isn’t it?  Isn’t it, my Mana?_

He kissed the shell of her ear gently.

“I love you.”

“You don’t.”

Kaname tightened his grip on her.

“Say as many times as you’d like, it won’t make it the truth.”

“I truly love you, Mana.  I want to see you happy.”

“Like that will happen.”

Kaname pursed his lips and pressed his nose into her braid, smelling the vanilla fragrance from the conditioner.  His hands wandered down to feel her belly.  Mana’s hands went to grab his wrists and he sighed wistfully, closing his eyes. 

_Just ask and it will happen, my love.  I know you love dogs, so perhaps I can get you a wolf?  I know you’ve excitedly told me that you’d been practicing painting wolves when you were pregnant with Sachi and that it was a dream to have one as a pet.  It was because of that hunter that you never had a pet and now he’s gone, I will happily go and find the most beautiful wolf for you.  You only need to ask._

He pictured a belly swollen with his child.  He pictured Mana smiling up at him as he greeted her.  He imagined her soft lips kissing him back and her hands cupping his face as she did so.  He sighed and held her closer so he was completely pressed up against her.

Mana made some disgruntled noise of displeasure and he sighed again, a little saddened.  He wanted to make love to her.  He wanted to worship this beautiful woman in his arms.  He wanted to see her laid out in front of him submissively and waiting for his love.  He had this hunger of wanting to devour her.  Even if she wasn’t so innocent, he just wanted to corrupt her, get rid of any memory of her previous husband.

Oh, if only they could have a wedding.  If only they could be officially married.  He still has that stunning photograph of her in her wedding dress on the wedding day.  He had bridal magazines still from when he had bought them for Mana to help prepare the wedding that they were meant to have at the hotel.  He only got the most expensive brands with so many choices of dresses.  She could have asked for any dress and he would definitely ensure she would have a tiara, a real tiara, as opposed to that pathetic glass hairpin that had kept her veil in place.  She was his queen, she only deserves the best.

_Everything I’ve worked and waited for was for you.  I regret nothing.  As long as you stay here with me, I’ll never regret anything.  You’re worth it all, you’re worth every death that I’ve caused.  If possible, I would watch the world burn with you.  The corrupt world out there doesn’t deserve you.  Only me.  I’ve always been the one to deserve your love._

Mana’s legs squirmed against him as he rubbed her belly idly.  He nosed the back of her neck as he held her still.  He won’t force himself on her.  He won’t break her as she had challenged him.  He won’t give in to that dark side of him that wanted to have her cry.

_I love her.  So, I will not hurt her._

_She won’t know who’s in charge unless you force her to submit._

No.  He won’t do it.  He’ll just give her some time.  Time to realise that she’s wrong.  She doesn’t hate him, she loves him.  She’ll understand soon enough.  She’ll realise that the extent of his love is more important than what he had done.  Yes, she’ll understand, she has to understand…

Kaname leaned over to kiss her cheek and she scowled, turning away and wiping her cheek.  Kaname frowned as he retreated and settled with spooning her.

“I love you.”

“Go to hell.”

“My angel.”

“Hideous fiend.”

“My salvation.”

“My curse.”

_Au contraire, you’re my curse, sweetheart.  You have me under your spell so you will face the consequences._


End file.
